5 Important Mindset Shifts for Busy Moms
Last week, I had a new project kick-off call on the agenda.
It was a cloudy Wednesday morning and happened to fall in the one three-hour block of time I set aside every week to focus solely on work-related tasks.
And we spent the first 30 minutes in solidarity about motherhood.
As a mom of two littles who works from home and is in the THICK of baby and preschool world… it was exactly what I needed.
Have you ever gotten so wrapped in your day-to-day that you lost a bit of perspective?
Motherhood can easily feel that way, from my experience. There are so many little details, things to remember, people to take care of, errands to run, food to cook, tasks to complete, that in the daily grind, it’s easy to forget that they’re not little for very long.
That this time is a treasure.
That one day very soon, they’ll stop saying words incorrectly and doing a poopy dance and asking you to do puppy’s voice and cooking pretend strawberry pancakes.
That might sound cliché… because it is. But it’s also VERY true.
And on the days when everything is LOT and I just want to end the day with quiet and a glass of wine and an early bedtime, this is the gentle reminder to myself that I need. That this is only for a season.
Coming from a background in productivity strategy, motherhood has forced me to think of time management SO MUCH DIFFERENTLY than ever before.
Because the truth is, most productivity content out there wasn’t geared toward moms.
So I’m on a mission to change that.
I believe in the ability to be a present, calm mom while ALSO being a productive, fulfilled human.
Because I don’t know about you, but I’m at my happiest and calmest state of motherhood when I’m prioritizing my own care and fulfillment on a regular basis. (And trust me when I say that both my husband and myself can tell when I haven’t been prioritizing this!)
But getting there starts with a few mindset shifts that completely reframe how I’ve thought about time and productivity.
01. This exact situation is just for a season.
It’s worth restating. Nothing — the good nor the bad — is forever. Everything is a phase.
And that call I mentioned at the beginning of this article was the clear reminder I needed of this fact. The chaos will change. The worries will change. But you will adjust and evolve along with them.
I often finding myself reflecting back on “remember when…” and then immediately remind myself that I’ll be saying those words about THIS stage in the very near future. So I’ve become a lot more intentional about enjoying each stage to the fullest and capturing the magic and memories along the way.
You might have your own unique way to do just that; I have a baby book for each of the girls and also send emails to them of incidents and stories that I don’t want to forget.
02. Not all time is created equal.
I really want to start rephrasing “time management” as “energy management.”
Because when it comes to productivity in any stage of life — and especially motherhood — managing your energy will help you show up more fully AND accomplish what you want to better than treating time as a perfectly exact, consistent resource.
For example: doing the exact same thing all day every day can leave a person feeling completely drained and burnt out by the end of the week.
But working in blocks of time for varied activities can help keep your energy high and accomplish more in the process.
The game changer is to focus solely on the thing right in front of you for the block of time you’re doing that thing.
When I have 1.5 hours to focus on work, I sit down in my work environment to do just that. When nap time is over, my aim is to focus solely on the girls (or at least be able to step away from work life for the next block of time).
Switching between areas of focus throughout the day is one way I keep my energy and motivation high. I wrote an entire post all about other ways to infuse more energy into your day if you’ve been in an energy slump recently and need a little daily boost.
03. Some tasks can — and should — be integrated.
I remember first hearing about this concept as a newborn mama three years ago, and it felt like a weight off my shoulders.
As a new mom, I put a lot of pressure on myself to focus solely focus on the baby and then get housework done separately when she was sleeping. But the truth is, that’s not sustainable.
Invite them into the process of doing housework and errands and cooking.
It’s important for little ones to see and understand the work that you do to keep a happy, peaceful, clean household and to see what goes into preparing a healthy, intentional family meal.
Also, I’ll just be honest — little ones LOVE to help. They love to be your little helper.
Instead of asking her to play alone while I clean the kitchen, I give her a cleaning cloth and a small spray bottle with water so she can “help.”
My littlest babe also loves to play in the laundry basket while I fold the clothes.
And errands mean getting out of the house, a little sunshine on the face, and a look at the world around us.
It’s not about being a secret superhero that keeps the world around them in order while they nap; it’s about inviting them into the process, giving them exposure to various activities and experiences, and most importantly, creating an opportunity to hang out WITH you along the way.
04. Not every ball is of equal importance.
When we’re trying to juggle SO many balls in the air on a daily basis, we’re terrified to let any of them fall. We want to prove to ourselves and others that we’ve got this, we CAN do it all.
But the reality is that occasionally a ball will drop — something will be missed, forgotten, or pushed to the side out of necessity.
Here’s the relieving part: not all balls are made the same.
Some balls are glass — a major work presentation, your daughter’s preschool graduation, etc. Other balls are rubber — that webinar you wanted to catch, making dinner at home that night, etc.
The point is that rubber balls are a lot less impactful and will bounce, whereas glass balls that drop may have more of a lasting impact.
So if you’re going to let a ball drop due to too many commitments and tasks that day, try to make sure it’s a rubber ball rather than a glass ball. Catch the next replay of the webinar, order takeout, and don’t let the loss of one minor thing ruin the day.
05. Stay AHEAD of taking care of yourself.
This one I learned the HARD way. Like, multiple lessons, realizing my mistake in hindsight…
But the truth is, when you have a lot on your plate and operate at a high level of productivity and awareness and mental gymnastics, eventually, it’ll catch up to you.
Unless you’ve been proactive about taking care of yourself along the way.
Call it self-care or pampering or passion projects or whatever you like; but probably the greatest “hack” to feeling good, being able to show up for my kids and family, and do so feeling fulfilled and happy and not in a state of constant stress is to take care of myself first.
For me, this looks like taking time to create, sketch, and color.
Using an at-home pedicure kit.
Making a solo coffee run first thing in the morning.
Working on a house project.
Getting a massage.
Reading 10 pages in my book.
I feel the most recharged when I can physically get out of the house… preferably alone. (Hi, introvert over here who LOVES to recharge on solo drives with an iced coffee in hand.)
But on the weeks when my husband’s schedule is non-stop and I’m with the girls almost 100% of the time, I still sneak out early in the morning for that coffee. Or prioritize a foot soak while watching a show during nap time. Or declaring family reading time so I can be with the girls while we’re focused individually on our “quiet reading.”
And the weeks I don’t intentionally prioritize these activities?
I can tell. My husband can tell. And I’m pretty sure the girls can tell, too.
A happier, less stressed you means a happier, less stressed household. An investment in your own care and sanity impacts everyone around you.
